Revenge of the Pink Panther - 2of2 - 23.976 fps
What's happening?
You can show us to my usual table.
How about something near the floor? Easier for dancing.
No, thank you. I want my usual table.
Is something wrong?
It is Mr. Douvier's table, ain't it, love?
No, it really ain't, love, but if you're worried about Mr. Douvier...
why don't you give him a call?
I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your boss.
- He ain't my boss. - He ain't?
Then why you paying him all that money every month?
- That ain't cool, baby. - You ain't seen nothing yet. Come on.
Which way do we go in?
We don't want to be obvious. We've got to make our entrance through the back...
in disguise, as I told you, you fool.
Get up here.
- It's a bakery. - I know that.
Come on. At least you're not yellow anymore.
This time I'm going to stand on your shoulders.
What good would that do?
- Because I'm taller than you, you fool. - Oh, yeah.
Make a cradle.
Get rid of that.
I can't reach it.
You'll have to find something to stand on.
All right! Let me see some, baby. Come on.
Do it, baby.
Let me go!
- Can you reach it? - Yes.
- Hey, are you okay? - No.
- You know something? You're terrific. - What?
You're terrific. You saved my life. Come with me.
- Where? - Over here. I want to save your life.
- Let's go. Come on. - Oh, God.
-Come with me before the killers see us. -What killers?
- I'll tell you at my apartment. - What apartment?
My apartment.
Oh, my God!
And mine, too.
I'm soaked to the skin.
Yes, I have received considerable soak also.
Get out of those wet clothes before you catch your death of pneumonia.
Yes. What shall I do with my coat? I don't want to spoil your beautiful--
Just put it down anywhere. Put it on the floor. That's fine.
Help yourself.
I'm going to change. I'll bring you a robe.
I'm gonna put on some music.
- You know, it's strange. - What?
I say, it's strange.
Yes, I know. And I said "what?"
- You mean, what is strange? - Yes.
It's strange...
that I have never yet set foot in this building...
but I have the distinct impression that I have been here before.
It's called deja vu. I have it all the time.
Yeah, deja vu. Thank you.
You're welcome.
- You okay? - Yes.
That feels good.
It's not going to do you much good if you don't take your pants off.
- What? - Take your pants off.
Forgot about those.
Look at me.
Look at my hands. I'm shaking like a leaf.
I can't stop shaking. I know what it is.
You know what it is? I'm just not used to being killed.
- That's my first time, you know? - I know, but listen.
When you have been killed as many times as I have, you get used to it.
- Really? - Yes, oh, yes.
Yes, indeed. I'll put this here.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- This is for you. - Yes, of course.
- Then this must be yours. - Thank you. Cheers.
Yes. Anyway--
- You have nothing to fear. - Yes, I have.
- No, you don't. - Yes, I have.
No. You see, I am an officer of the law.
- The "lew"? - What?
You said you are an officer of the "lew"?
That is correct. Yes, yes. I am Chief Inspector of the surete.
What?
You doubt me.
No, I don't doubt you. Why should I doubt you?
- That's right. Why should you? - If you say so, I don't.
Who were those men who tried to kill you?
- Killers. - How do you know?
- Because they work for Douvier. - Douvier? I know that name.
Everyone in France knows that name. He's a millionaire businessman.
Yes, of course. Douvier the millionaire businessman. I knew I knew.
But, how many people do you think know...
that Douvier the millionaire businessman is also Douvier the French connection?
How many?
I suppose his mother, for one.
Why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
Elementary. He wanted you dead.
- You all right? - I got singed.
- I'm sorry about your robe. - That's all right.
Tell me about this Douvier.
I was his mistress and private secretary for two years.
I know enough about Philippe to send him to prison for his whole life.
You keep talking about this Douvier.
But who is Philippe?
- Philippe Douvier. - His son?
Whose son? He has no son.
- His brother then? - His brother is Fred.
- Then it has to be his father. - His father's dead.
Now we're getting somewhere. Who killed him?
- No one. He died of natural causes. - Then who is this Philippe?
I want to see some identification. Right now.
I want to see some identification.
If you're not a policeman, then I shouldn't be telling you these things.
- Can you keep a secret? - I don't know. That depends.
Brace yourself for what I'm about to tell you.
I am none other...
then Staff lnspector Jacques Clouseau.
No, you're not.
- Yes, I am. - No, you're not.
I am.
You're not.
Yes, you are.
Oh, my God!
I admit it's not a good photograph, but--
But I saw your funeral on television.
Yes. Yes.
Even the pope was there. Cheers.
But if you're not dead, who's dead?
A wandering transvestite took my car...
and stole my clothes at gunpoint.
I have been working under the covers tracking the killer.
- The killer's Douvier! - What?
He wanted to impress the godfather.
What? You mean Douvier killed a wandering transvestite...
just to impress his godfather?
The man's unthinkable.
The door.
- What's wrong with it? - I saw the knob turn.
Hurry.
- I wonder whose apartment this is. - I don't know.
The other one's probably upstairs waiting in my room.
How do you know there's another one?
Because assassins always travel in pairs. It's a company rule.
Do you know what the Gannet Transaction is?
The Gannet Transaction? What is that?
It's a code name for a 50-million franc heroin sale.
50 million francs?
Philippe's going to Hong Kong on Tuesday to meet with the American buyer.
Hong Kong.
I don't know how it fits in, but the Gannet's a boat.
What are you doing?
- I know why this place looks familiar. - Why?
Chief lnspector Dreyfus lives here.
I think he has received a faint.
Wake up, Chief lnspector. Wake up.
Chief lnspector?
Hello? Are you in there, Chief lnspector?
Hello?
There's no reply. It's no use.
We will have to go to Hong Kong without him.
- We? - Yes.
You, I and Cato, who will translate for us.
Not me. I am not going to Hong Kong.
Are you kidding? Douvier would shoot me on sight.
Not if he doesn't recognize you. And he won't.
Why not?
We will leave that up to the great Balls.
The great Balls?
At your service!
Please forgive the condition of my establishment...
but as the lnspector knows--
- Chief lnspector knows-- - Auguste.
So sorry. I beg your pardon.
But as the Chief lnspector knows, we were bombed.
Sounds like you still are.
Almost all my collection was either destroyed or damaged.
Starting Monday, I have to have a fire sale.
You could call it "The Great Balls of Fire" sale.
A catchy suggestion.
Very good.
Cunny!
I can't tell you how good it is to see that you are still alive.
It has been my privilege to serve the good lnspector...
the Chief lnspector, for, lo, this many years.
Thirteen, to be precise.
And his reported demise was a real blow to me.
Something's coming.
Yes, Cunny, you are not dreaming.
Our friend, our customer, is alive!
Hello, Cunny.
Now, how can I serve you?
Through wind and mud, snow and hail...
whether long or short, dark or pale, remember...
that when duty calls...
you've got Balls.
I gotta sit down.
Yes, of course. Cunny! Quick.
Please, please, please.
Come along. That's right. There you are.
- Sit. Come, come, come. Sit, sit. - You're not serious.
There has been no time to get new furniture.
Believe me, since the blast, he's much more comfortable.
Please sit.
Matter of fact, I've been sleeping on him.
Chief lnspector?
I'm leaving for Hong Kong in the morning.
Hong Kong?
Could you pick me up some cheap coolie hats?
My dear Auguste, I need your best Hong Kong disguise.
Also, I will need something extra special in the godfather line.
Doctor, please, you must help me.
Is Clouseau real...
or am I going mad again?
- What do you think? - What do I think? What can I think?
If that nincompoop is really alive...
and the things I heard are true, he'll probably be decorated again...
for rounding up the biggest drug ring in France...
and I'll be a laughingstock.
That sounds reasonable. What are you going to do?
What choice do I have?
I either commit myself and come back to be locked up in here...
or...
I go to Hong Kong.
- I don't think I can do this. - Of course you can.
Just think yellow and follow me.
"Mr. and Mrs. Low Key."
You stupid lunk! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Absolutely ruined my suit!
Why the hell don't you look where you're going?
I'm Mr. Algo. When Mr. Scallini arrives, have me paged in the bar.
Certainly, Mr. Algo.
Who is gonna pay for my suit?
See that man there?
That's Guy Algo, Philippe's right-hand man.
This Scallini must be Mr. Big from New York.
Listen, we'll go up to the room.
You stay here ten minutes, then tell Mr.--
- Algo. - Right, yes. Algo.
That Mr. You-Know-Who has arrived, and bring him to the room.
- Mr. You-Know-Who? - Right. I will be Mr. You-Know-Who.
Come, Ming Loy.
You got a reservation for Scallini?
Page Mr. Algo in the bar. Tell him Mr. Scallini is here.
- What do you think you're doing? - Mr. Scallini in lobby.
You heard what I said to him? Dumb Frenchman.
"Cochon."
That means pig.
I tell Mr. Scallini you're here.
- Listen, boss-- - It's not boss. It's me!
Where is he?
In the bathroom getting into his godfather disguise.
Algo's in the next room. Scallini's down the hall in the Tang suite.
- Marvelous. - We rode up in the same elevator.
Maybe I can reach him before he contacts Philippe.
- What are you going to do? - I'm not sure. Keep your eye on Algo.
- Ice? - Please.
- Soda? - Yes.
I hope it's not too strong.
I'm sure it will be fine.
Hey! Mama Mia.
Spaghettini du AI Pacino!
Carlo, Cato and me got a little business to talk over.
We won't be long. Have another drink.
Viva Zapata!
- Where is she? - I don't know.
Get out--
Hello, Mr. Marchione.
- Hey. Come on in. - Thank you.
- Thank you very much. - Can I get you a drink?
No, nothing, thank you.
It's Simone.
You have a good memory.
I never forget a pretty face.
Boss, this is Simone. That's Douvier's personal--
Secretary. How do you do, Mr. Scallini?
We never met before. If we meet before, you call me Julio.
- That's a nice hand. - Thank you. That's only the right one.
- You type, too. - 100 words a minute.
I may faint.
Mr. Douvier has asked me to apologize. He's going to be a little late.
If you like, I'd be happy to keep you company until he arrives.
If I like? Does my mother cook spaghetti?
To the Gannet Transaction.
Shall I tell Douvier we're on our way?
Don't forget the money.
What?
Throat! Back!
Choking!
You want me to hit you on the back.
We're on our way.
- Mr. Douvier will meet us in the lobby. - Yeah. Great.
- Is that it? - Yeah.
50 million francs and no bodyguard?
Listen, buddy, I take care of my body, my body takes care of me.
You know what I'm driving at?
I'll buy some cigarettes, huh?
Yeah, smoke a few. When Douvier shows, I'll meet you in the lobby.
Right.
Be right with you.
What the hell is going on here?
Lee Kee shipyards.
- Where'd he go? - I think to Lee Kee shipyards.
My cart!
You see this? I can tell by your heart line you're a passionate man.
See how long this is?
Keep watching. It's going to get longer.
- Hello. - Lee Kee shipyards. Douvier.
It was Douvier!
The doorman heard him tell the driver to go to the Lee Kee shipyard.
Something is caccuzza around here.
Your boss and a couple boys just left the hotel.
Really? I wonder why they did that?
You got me. Why don't we go ask him?
Yes. Okay, I understand.
Douvier left the hotel about five minutes ago.
He was with two men. He told the driver to go to the Lee Kee shipyard.
I'm sure it was that nincompoop.
I'm sure Mr. Douvier didn't intend to be gone very long.
- We'll see. - It doesn't make much sense.
If you leave, and then he comes back--
Stop worrying. You give yourself wrinkles.
What about this Lee Kee shipyard?
Perfectly legitimate as far as I know.
They build a line of expensive power cruisers and sailboats.
Maybe Mr. Douvier is just buying himself a yacht.
Lee Kee shipyards?
Yeah, that's what the como si chiamare said.
Move it!
Come along!
This is Mr. Chow, our Far Eastern representative.
- Mr. Scallini. - It's an honor to meet you.
- You remember Mr. Algo. Shall we go? - This way, please.
After you launch the boat, we'll go to Mr. Chow's office.
You can sign the ownership papers. Everything legal and aboveboard.
Above the board. Good, good.
- Where is it? You know-- - I understood you were told.
No. I was told. But I'm checking, you know.
- In the keel. - The old keel ploy. Yes.
All you have to do is sail her around the Caribbean for a while...
haul her out of the water, take the midsection out of the keel...
and voila, 40 kilos of the finest merchandise...
your experts have ever tested.
I'll tell you, it better hell be the best merchandise...
'cause my experts certainly have tested some.
- We have faith in our merchandise. - That's good.
All right. Now, would you like to launch her?
I would be delighted.
September. A good month for the vintage.
Congratulations!
He must be a cop! Get him! Get him!
Hey, boss!
Look out, you are an idiot!
What are you doing?
Jesus Christ!
You crumb!
Get back here, you slob!
It's me!
I know!
Wait!
Hey, cancel the artillery!
I don't care! Get out of my way!
- Al, where are you? - How do I know?
Wherever you are, this is Chief lnspector Clouseau.
I'm warning you that if you are not careful...
I will arrest you all in the name of the law.
You and your bright ideas. Let me get my hands on you.
Clouseau?
Yes?
- Are you wounded? - No.
Fortunately I was saved by the darkness.
So what we need is more light.
Look what you did to my shoes!
Hello, Philippe.
Simone, what the hell are you doing here?
I'm waiting for the firecrackers to go off.
- What firecrackers? - The ones I stuck in your pants.
Hello. I'm sorry I'm late.
I had some important police business to attend to, you know.
- Everything's all right? - Yes, absolutely fine.
Allow me to let you in the car.
Please.
- It's beautiful. - It's rather neat, isn't it?
I call it the Silver Hornet.
Yes.
It's a little overdue for service, unfortunately.
Perhaps it's better to leave that there.
It's a beautiful night. Why don't we walk?
What an excellent idea.
- I'm sorry about that. - It's quite all right.
You look ravishing tonight.
- Yes, I know that. - You know that?
I knew that you knew that.
You did? I knew you knew I knew that.
What made you decide to become a detective?
It's not something one decides every day of the week, you know.
But in my case, it began when my great aunt was kidnapped...
and held for ransom by an unlicensed Armenian phrenologist.
An Armenian phrenologist?
Yes, you know. A man who reads the "bimps" on the head.
- The "bimps"? - What?